Assistance on the Healing Journey: Choosing a Practitioner
The many healing modalities are tools for physical, emotional, spiritual and energetic expression and change. These tools facilitate such things as: the clearing of trauma, the opening of internal channels of energy and communication, and the integration of structural, energetic and emotional learning. Ideally, the practitioner has chosen a modality of practice in which he/she can participate as a neutral facilitator. Discovering the modalities that speak to you as a sensitive person and finding the right practitioners to assist you on your journey requires clarity and discernment.
Define What You Need
Defining what you need as a sensitive person may be a helpful first step in choosing a practitioner. For instance, at one point you may need help in expressing your emotions, and at another point you may want support in clearing toxins from your body. At yet another time, you may need help in several different areas at once. And often, you may simply place yourself before a person who you sense can help you, with no specific idea of what you need.
Through the work you do, you will discover what healing means to you. Your definition of health and your goals for your treatment may differ from the philosophy and goals of the practitioner you see. You may want to find peace and acceptance with a condition, while a practitioner may be committed to eradicating your symptoms of your sensitivity. A doctor may talk about fixing something, while you believe the presenting condition needs to be understood.
It is also important to remember that practitioners may offer a variety of gifts and levels of care. Beyond their declared fields of expertise, they may be offering you trust in yourself, metaphors for your experience, a framework for healing, new paradigms, and new models of how to care for and listen to yourself. It is your job to assess what the practitioner offers you, both at a skill level and at the level of intention. You can then evaluate whether what he or she offers is in alignment with your needs as a uniquely sensitive person.
Listening as well as you can to your system's experience is part of your job during your healing process. The needs of your system may evolve over time. Decide for yourself how long you should see your practitioner if you are not experiencing results. Find out if your practitioner is committed to seeing patients for the shortest number of visits possible.
Part of the gift of this experience is that through it, you learn that you are your own best authority.
Be Your Own Advocate
Your ability to advocate for yourself as a sensitive is extraordinarily important when you interact with the medical establishment. Unfortunately, while their intention is to help you, most practitioners - whether they are practicing Western medicine or complementary therapies - are still unaware of what it means to be highly sensitive person (even if they themselves are sensitives).
As a sensitive person, it's important for you to find ways to access your own authority when you are interacting with helping professionals. Once you become your own advocate, you can:
- tell someone what you need
- work with your practitioner as a peer
- keep your field clear of others' thoughts and emotions
What to Look For in a Practitioner
These qualities tend to insure integrity in a practitioner:
- honesty
- ability to admit mistakes
- lack of ego-based work
- respect for your experience
- intuitive knowing that respects your boundaries
- giftedness that goes beyond training
- commitment to ongoing learning (personally and professionally)
- inner solidity that allows for openness, calmness and lack of fear in interaction (no need to use authority to feel safe)
- trust in process
- openness to feedback
- interest in efficacy of work
- recognition that their way is one way, not the way
- willingness to refer to other practitioners and admit limits to their abilities
What to Avoid in a Practitioner
Here are some examples of what it looks like when a practitioner fails to respect boundaries, privacy, sensitivity or the power of the environment.
Inappropriate Boundaries.
Allowing phone call interruptions; allowing strangers to enter your session; disregarding your feedback; ignoring limits you have set; calling to see if you want another appointment; doing unsolicited energy work with you at night; sharing their personal lives; initiating friendships while you are in treatment.
Violations of Privacy.
Leaving medical records unattended where patients can access them; inadequate soundproofing; insufficient screening between spaces; inadequate seating in waiting area; allowing insufficient time between client appointments; discussing other clients.
Insensitivity to Sensitivity.
Presence of strong odors of chemicals, incense or herbs; inappropriately bright lighting; noisy office location; inappropriate or loud music; inability to modulate room temperature; loud and clashing wall colors; distracting artwork; failure to adequately prepare you for what to expect in the treatment.
Disregard for the Power of the Environment.
Unclear directions, unclear location of office entrance; unclear bathroom location; unclear protocol on any aspect of your visit; excessive clutter; an invasive receptionist; inappropriate magazine selection.
Experiences of Abuse in the Therapeutic Setting:
- Being told you are resisting
- Being criticized
- Being yelled at
- Being shamed
- Having your request or stated need ignored
- Having your limits ignored
- Being told you don't know what is best for you
- Having someone do long distance work on you when you have not requested it
Points to Remember:
- You are your own best authority
- You need the vocabulary to explain and advocate for yourself as a sensitive person
- Meet your practitioners as peers
- Ask practitioners what they can do; say no when the answer does not fit your needs
- Blind trust is an abandonment of yourself
- Have compassion for practitioners; recognize that they carry their own fears and are also learning
- Never abandon yourselfalways keep yourself company though any procedure
- Honor your inner wisdom
Inner Challenges on the Road Home
Discomfort with being different
- Rage/fear/despair at being different
- Fear that being in your truth is dangerous - that it isolates and alienates you / that you will get blamed / that you will get punished
- Denial of your uniqueness and sensitivity which denies your truth
- Expectation to be like others / treating yourself like others
- Belief that something is wrong with you when others don't understand you
Confusion
- A lack of vocabulary for your internal experiences
- Absorbing the experiences of helpers and those around you without knowing it
- The experience of disbelief If nothing is wrong with you, how can others be as they are? How can things be as crazy as they seem?
- Loss of self by taking on the reality of the therapist or helper
Inability to honor your own process
- When you fear emptiness - the space in which things unfold
- When you turn against yourself by: doubting your choices, comparing yourself to others, thinking that your healing process is a waste of time, looking for the product
- When you absorb the cultural fear of crisis and pain / when you believe in the need to "fix" rather than witness, attend to and deepen
- When you respond to surface experiences "bounce" rather than going deeper to your core and the place to anchor